Dear Brian

Original date 8 May 2011

Dear Brian,

I miss you.  There are days when I wish you were here so I could share with you what's going on.  Like how well I'm doing in school.  You'd be so proud of me.  My biology final is actually this Tuesday.  I'm nervous....because it was really hard this semester and the teacher was a real jerk.  Like how well the Phillies are doing so far this season...it's very exciting.  Like how the Flyers suck and lost 4-0 to Boston in the Stanley Cup playoffs and how you would be so upset.  Like how the Navy SEALs killed Bin Laden, finally.  Like how Prince William got married last week.

I drove across the country with Dave, just like we planned.  It was a lot of fun, except the day we almost crashed.  We were trying to drive out of a blizzard in South Dakota and got caught in a wind burst and the car spun and spun and we ended up in a snow bank facing oncoming traffic.  Dave has been really good to me.  He helps me to get on with my life without making me feel like I have to forget about you.

I've been hanging out with Naomi.  Brian, you didn't tell me she was crazy!!  She's a lot of fun and she's sharing her memories of you with me.  I'm jealous of her, Brian.  She got to know a part of you that I never did, and I never will.  She's taking me skydiving this summer.  She also went with me when I got a new tattoo.  It's a heart with angel wings...you'll always be with me.

I had a hard time adjusting to you being gone.  I know we grieved together the loss of what won't be, but actually having to do it alone now has been really tough....a lot tougher than I thought it would be.  I hate that you're gone.  I miss your friendship, and your company.  I would trade all the books in the world to be able to see you again.  If I had three wishes, I'd wish for one more day with you.  I'm moving.  You are everywhere here...in the bedroom, in the living room, in the kitchen.  There are too many memories of you here for me to move on.

I'm going to Florida in September to spread your ashes on Singer Island, just like you asked.  I don't want to, but it was your last request of me.  I asked your family to have a Jewish ceremony to honor your heritage, and they've agreed.  I think, I hope, that this is what you would want.

I hope Heaven is everything we always prayed it would be.  I hope the sun shines all day and the weather is nice.

Kimberly