the world of "on my own"

Original date 7 July 2011

It feels like we just got done with New Years, so it's unbelievable to me that we're celebrating the Fourth of July; the 235th year of our independence as a nation.

Along with my family, I'll be celebrating at home. I'll enjoy the fireworks displays from the comfort of my backyard and will remember and salute our military stationed all over the world, along with those who sacrificed their lives for our freedom.

It will be a lovely and peaceful day. …and it got me to thinking (what else is new?)...
"What in the WORLD is there to 'celebrate'? I didn't WANT to be 'independent'. I didn't ASK to be 'independent' I don't want to have to worry about the things he used to worry about. What I want is my husband here with me.

It happens at holidays, it happens in the everyday lives that we all once enjoyed –but it especially happens when something needs FIXING! I'll admit it right now… a sink, a toilet, certainly anything having to do with four wheels that requires a tire jack…if it's "techie, trekkie (as in directional) or heavy", I don't want anything to do with it.

However… The fact remains that through no fault or doing of mine, I have nonetheless been thrust into the world of "On My Own" and as such, I've had to assume much of what we usually consider to be the "boy-stuff"…the things that we would just rather not handle. But you know, there was also a time in the not-too-distant past when other things that we now take for granted were also considered "for boys only"–things like going to work every day, handling the household finances…even something as simple as having bank accounts and credit.

So much has changed. While I will happily admit to having called on a local handyman company to do the "impossible for Kimberly" jobs (i.e. anything involving what's under the hood of my car and ANYTHING having to do with the word "electricity"), I have also taken a silly kind of pride in the things that I learned to do on my own.

Granted, that education was borne out of necessity, but it still feels good to know that I am capable of taking care of things that at one time I would have never attempted on my own
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I take pride in the fact that although I am in a place that I never asked or expected to be, I am still perfectly capable of taking care of me and my household; even though that "household" is just me. I am finding a way, I am making a way…I am GETTING IT DONE!!